P-A-Y-G $45 iPhone Project: Success! And Phone!

My last post on how to set up a PAYG iPhone plan ended up becoming an incredible disaster. Times were tough, the economy was falling apart and lunatics were killing theaters of people, and shit was generally a hot mess. None of that has anything to do with this, of course.

I spent over 92 hours on the phone with Straight Talk, AT&T and Apple; three days in the local AT&T for what ended up being for no reason whatsoever; $300 on three new iPhones as the ST rep I’ll refer to as “that moron” had me attempt to jailbreak my phones and irreversibly brick TWO of them to, again, no avail; I was ripped off by a ST sales asshole for $35 on a new SIM card he claimed to be my last and only option (only to find out from his manager that he had lied and supposedly reprimanded) and a host of of problems. But, in a very non-Jarcy fashion, I’m not going to bitch about it length. Why? Because I have a motherfucking fully-functional iPhone 3GS with unlimited talk, text, MMS and data that’s clad in a Black-on-pink Oteerbox Defender case. As sexy as those last few words sounds, it also means:

Courtesy of U.S. Maplestory when Kyle and I won the "Hipster-Ass Mod Challenge" on the Something Awful forums as So I Wanna Bang My French Teacher with our amazing release."Panties, featuring hit singles "Bang Bang a la Boom and "Sluttastic (Grimlocked Remix)".

Some things are best learnt the hard way, and I suppose discount iPhone plans are among them.

I’d post them here, obviously, but frankly I’m sick of discussing it. You know after you have to explain a long,  complex and frustrating/sad/angry situation to a million people, then you just shut up and move on because you’re so tired of even talking about it? If so, please sympathize accordingly. If you don’t know that feeling, well… that’s how I feel right now. That story will come in due time, but for now I’m thinking it would be more helpful and less angsty to paraphrase a bit on the downer bits and post some solutions instead.

1. Follow the instructions I originally posted.

2. Use an iPhone that has been unlocked by AT&T for best results. If it’s old and out of contract you can call them, explain your situation and 90% of the time they’ll unlock it for free right there and then. If it’s not eligible, you should be OK (according to most of the stories online) as long as you order the correct SIM card for your device, but I’m a cookiepuss when it comes to messing with expensive stuff and I had one hell of a time with jailbroken ones, so I’m a bit biased. And dumbassed on occasion.

3. After successfully activating it and being able to make/send calls, set up your data plan. Use the manual-pamphlet-thing Straight Talk gives or read the one on the HowardForums guide.

Seriously you copypasta like twice. Dat's it.

4. Follow the guide on the HowardForums wiki to set up your MMS with BackupBot and iTunes. It worked just as it was described and can send and receive MSS and picture messages with no problem.

5. Join the ranks of geeks everywhere and use the hell outta your new piece of radiation-emitting Angry Birds Gameboy!

Also: I’m not going Android on ST. Why? See:

:( sadroid :(

Android? More like ANDEAD CELL SIG… forget it.




Posted on July 22, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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