Microcosm of Dorkness and Space Cadets

It is 2012. This is the 21st century. We are the smartest beings on our entire planet- yet we somehow find new and exciting ways to poop all over centuries of progress over trivial and truly non-existent issues.

Yesterday I had a discussion over a proposed project with a potential client. After about thirty minutes, I asked what the site’s content was to be. He looked around nervously, lowered his voice and grunted “you know all the trouble we been havin’ with ‘the blacks’? we want to… take care of that, if you get me, brother.” I was speechless: here’s this guy likely alluding to terrorism and not only does he see me as a confidante and like-mided buffoon, but I’ve been wasting time and energy helping him! I made an excuse to find the snack bar and took off, avoiding him for the rest of the night.

Someone, somewhere, has a hard-on for this.

“When I’m out bombing abortion clinics, I only trust Hanes for the best in support, comfort and style. Nude Domestic Terror for (some of) America.”

White, Conservative and Republican fairly sums up the majority demographic in west Texas. Bumper sticks with “NOBAMA” and “Be a Hero: Kill a Liberal” (seriously) are on the ass of every two-ton Chevy rumbling down I-20 while the common conversation piece during a meal starts off with “That no-good black ass in the White House is…” It’s a microcosm of paranoia and fear culminating in tantrums and malice- and unfortunately it’s the most heavily armed and financially stable that buy into that mess.

Freedom fries! Freedom diabetes!

This is an acurate portrayal of some of my neighbors. Very, very, horribly accurate.

I have my own political views not defined by one of two parties, and thus I’m not slagging on the right here- rather, I’m slagging on the ignorant who also think their politics are the only politics. It absolutely kills me to hear some hateful bullshit from a person who seems to be intelligent. I sort of expect that shit from the gaping, slack-jawed maw of an inbred country methbilly, yet that stereotype (like many) just ain’t the case all the time. Now I must admit that there is a big difference between joking around about “whatever-ism” with your friends, doing It as an off-the-cuff joke, and sincerely advocating an attack on a minority using violence and deceit. “-isms” are not good, as Ferris Bueller so graciously taught us while washing his junk in the shower.

I had a massive flood of traffic to this blog today for no reason I can figure out, but I’m hoping it keeps up as there have been well over three times as many visitors as I ever had on my single busiest day last year. I have not a single clue as to why the spike occurred, but man KEEP IT COMING. Cash prizes and free kisses to come.

Yeah, something like this. With more pictures of boobs.

Part of me is apprehensive about strangers reading my garbage and/or being put off by my views, and part of me is super-mega-stoked to have finally managed to get a little bit of Internet Superstardom. If there are any perverts looking to sex me up or cannibalize my ears, please don’t. If you feel an overwhelming desire to do something crazy, call me and we can set up an appointment for me to torch your car. I am actually Chris Hansen. And the best MMA fighting ninja in the southwest region. Bet that.

Ugh! Argh!

Hello, Worst Clip Art of 1998. I see your new text. Why are you SEO-ing? Are you hurt, lil’ guy?

Moving into my new office tomorrow, and there’s still a lot of packing to do. Wish me luck, for the world of IT is a strange and unusual one indeed.


Posted on May 6, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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