Open Letter to the Guy Sitting Next to Me
Dear Man to my Left on the DCTA 1104,
For the last twenty minutes, you’ve been honking out snot like you discovered it in a variety of ways: picking, blowing, not-so-subtlety wiping and many more creative Olfactory-clearing methods. I don’t think I have to tell you that doing such personal hygiene tasks on a crowded city bus is gross, because if you have had a even a barely-conscious mother and/or were not born in a barn, you have an idea of the whole “ew germs ew” reaction your peers tend to have. In short, please realize where you are and that those around you don’t care much for your trumpeted snot sonata and shameless eating of boogers.
Also, please stop spitting on the floor while looking around- all of us can see, hear and experience the “spit-phlut” of your snot rockets without you frenetically looking about in an attempt to make it a casual affair. I do appreciate you aiming for the A/C vent as I would love to share this flu moment with you, and I’m sure everyone on board is grateful for the sinus infection.
You know, I thought writing this little annoyance out would be fun and stress-relieving, but now I have to contend with a massive thunderstorm while biking to the office and praying to all the gods I know of for a strong immune system and resistance to the Swine Flu. Nice way to start the day.
OH SHIT, IT’S THE WEEKEND!!! Nevermind, stoked on life again!